Goth rules for dating my daughter

Athena starts middle school Monday.  Not quite "dating age" but getting closer.  So, here's a blast from the past from my old LJ account:

1.  Goths embrace pain and suffering.  Hurt my daughter and I will embrace yours.
2.  Tears are nothing to be ashamed of.  Make my daughter cry and I will demonstrate this by making you cry.
3.  While black is always in fashion, pants hanging around your knees are not.  If you insist on this fashion faux-pas I will use my staple gun to give you a nice set of piercings to hold up your trousers.
4.  I hang out in graveyards for fun.  Think about it.
5.  Goths flirt with death all the time.  Touch my daughter inappropriately and I will flirt with yours.
6.  I know every dark, secluded spot in the city where no one could hear someone scream in agony until their voice is gone.
7.  Black doesn't show bloodstains.
8.  I have a fascination with psychopaths.  Some of my best friends are psychopaths.
9.  Most of my best friends are psychopaths.
10.  Aw, hell, all of my best friends are psychopaths.